Ok, I know I do not write on here that often. Im usually one to keep things to myself. Im just having a hard time with Her walking out and leaving and not talking to anyone.

This is not the first time that I have had a really good friend who I thought was normal and did a lot of things together. I do not make friends with women that often because I do not like to deal with the Drama and all of the other issues. I take pride in calling someone a really good friend. I digress. Like I said this has happened to me in the past where I was in their wedding and stood by them. It was like you knew them and all of a sudden something in their brain snaps and they need to go and do crazy things and break up with a very caring man. All of the things that you know about this person seems like they were playing everyone to the max and that this is what their true self is and do not care of the chaos that they are causing.

When I found out that She was leaving behind everything that she work so hard to have. I was in shock. Looking from the outside there seemed to be nothing wrong. She said she loved her husband and he was number one in her life. She had no fear of ever not needing anything. Her husband loved her back and would do anything for her. If she waited 10 months she could of pursued her Dreams and he would of been there to follow her thru them. I do not get the fact that she let some man influence her to run away from everything good in her life and leave a network of friends and family to go after a pipe dream. She now will not have any income coming in and she will be on the street fending for her self with some loser who does not work.

Do I feel bad for her or care that she did this? I Do not. She is not the same person who I let into my social circle where for me is hard to let someone in, in the first place. Am I numb? Yes I am, because of all of the people in my social circle I would of never thought that She would be this flighty and throw everything away for someone who is not going to give a damn about her. Who is a piece of work. Who cannot take care of any of the 7 children that he has. I could keep going but IM not going to.

This being said. I know that I cannot fix it or make her come to her senses. I would love to be able to wave a magic wand and fix it and have things go back to the way they were a year ago. But alas we do not live in a world where we can do that.

Current Location: United States, Illinois, Peoria
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: The Nosie of the TV

Ok Mom and I left for Chicago Friday afternoon. We had a good trip up to Bollingbrook and we stay at the Springhill suites. It is in the middle of our shopping trips. We got up to our room and ordered a Deep dish pizza because if you are in Chicago you need to eat one. We just relaxed and went to bed a little late.

We woke up and stopped at Starbucks and got coffee and a scone. We then headed to downtown Chicago. We had a good drive in and parked in a nice parking deck not too far from Watertower Place. We went to the American Girl Doll store and got things for my Neices. we then headed to the Ugg store and mom picked out some new boots. I also got a new pair of boots. They are part of my Christmas. It rained on us and such we left downtown and headed back to Bollingbrook. We dropped off things at the hotel and then we went to the outdoor mall there and looked at the Coach store and to Lane Bryant and to Barnes and Noble. We had dinner at Teds they serve Bison burgers and steaks which they were very good. Came back to the Hotel and we went to sleep.

On Sunday we stopped at Starbucks again and the wind was blowing and it was snowing. The roads were good and did not have too many issues. We got to the Woodfield Mall and went shopping. We left the mall about 4 and the wind was blowing pretty hard and we started the drive home. The roads were good up to Joliett and then it started to drift in spots. We were diverted off of the interstate at exit 233 for a 10 car pile up and we stopped at the only gas station that was there and filled up the Suburban. We then hit Rt 66 and drove to Dwight and got back on the interstate. We saw many cars off in the ditch and we even saw a 5 car accident. 55 was a big mess. We then got on to 74 and it was nicer saw a few cars in the ditch but they looked like they had been there a while. once we hit Morton 74 sucked it was like they did not know how to plow and that was like that all the way into Peoria. We Made it home safe and sound.

It was a nice relaxing time. I cannot wait to do it again.

Tags: shopping, weather
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: the noisy heater

Ok here it is 2 in the morning and I cannot sleep worth a darn. Im tired and I know that if I go back to bed I will be tossing and turning and wanting to throw the covers off and put them back on because Im cold. I do not know what is making me wake up and not go back to sleep. Last night was fun I was waking up every hour from 1 to 6 and then getting up and wanting to do things around the house and then so tired that I lay down for a nap. Today when I wake up no nap for me and I will not go to bed until late and then see if I sleep thru the night. Well Im going to try and sleep now. LOL wish me luck

Oh and I think we have a ghost because I would wake up the PC monitor would be all lit up and the PC hard drive would be running a lot and then the monitor would turn off and the hard drive would get quiet. This happened like 3 or 4 times. Interesting is what I thought. Or it could be the cat walking under the mouse and making the monitor turn on. Oh Rob leaves the PC on all of the time. I would be freaking out if the PC was turned off and the hard drive was running. LOL

Current Location: In front of the PC
Current Music: The whine of the PC

Well I have been thinking about Christmas and such because. For one Im making Christmas presents this year and so I have to embroider 21 towels and also crochet some dish cloths for the gifts. Im also thinking about getting the quilts done that I promised my neices done as well. I know I better get hopping. Im also making aprons for Christmas baking on the 18th. I do really like to sew and create things from my own two hands. I sometimes wish that others would not put so much into the holidays as needing to get soo many presents. I hate that I have to buy not only for my family but also for all of the other children in the expanded family. I buy for my parents,brothers and spouses and the 5 neices and nephews. Then I have to get something for my cousins kids and that is 6 more kids plus one more on the way. I also need a white elephant gift as well for the other gift exchange. I feel that I need to supply gifts for my family but not for the cousins kids. I do not mind baking cookies and treats and taking down to share with the family but Im not really wanting to spend a lot of money on kids I see once or twice a year. I do not really have much in common with a few of my cousins or their spouses. I would rather remember what Christmas was about before it became so commercial.

Current Location: Home of course
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: ahhh quiet

Well I lost my cat Yang Yesterday. She was a good cat. I got her to replace the hole in my heart for the baby I lost. She was a lover, she would climb up and lay her head on my shoulder and of course knead my arms and anything she wanted. She was my cat not anyone elses. She would greet people. Im not going to keep ramlbling. I do not want to cry. She wanted me to pick her up yesterday and she died in my arms.

Lets see Rob is still not working but has a good possibility that he will be working when we get back from Pennsic. I am keeping my fingers crossed. He has been out of work for 4 months. and he is driving me crazy. LOL he and I are always together and well I liked my quiet time. Im also looking for a job to help with getting caught up on the bills I will probably not stay at it very long. We can live off of Rob's income alone and be comfortable. I will work to get the savings all built back up. So if something like this happens again we will be ok for a while.

well that is it for now,

Vicki

Well I have not jotted down a blog in a while. I thought I would take some time and share a few things.

I have been worried about where the next monies are going to come from for the bills we have to pay. I have been looking for a job since Rob has lost one. I will not get to live a life of a kept woman for a while. It has been nice to be at home and not have to worry about getting up and going to work. Im going to miss it I know.

Maddi is doing very well, she is starting to figure out the back yard and the steps to get down to the grass. When she gets excitied she gets all confused and runs into a lot of things. I watched her today stalk a bug on the front porch and she used her sense of smell. She played with it for about 20 mins and then smashed it with her paws and then ate it. She is getting a lot better. She still uses me as her Seeing eye person. I do not know what she will do when I do go back to work. She greatly depends on me to get around the house. I know that she will do just fine.

Trust me I do not mind that Rob is home but sometimes he has messed up my routine that I have thru the day. He has taken over the PC room and of course has 2 PC's going at once. I think he would want to only use one. LOL I guess not. We had to go to my mom and ask that she put Rob's phone on her plan because the phone people wanted me to pay for another line and well I had 3 lines before and now I only have 2. I do not know their reason oh well. He has a new number if you do not have it just let him know.

Mom and I are going to go and finish up the plant shopping for the garden. I cannot wait. We took one plot out and made another bigger. Im also not going to have as much in there as was last year. Im not planting all of the radishes like I did last year. LOL Im hoping that we do not have a wet year like last year. Dad has to till one more time and then it is all ready to plant. Im excited!!!!!

Tags: garden, rob and maddi
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Something Rob has playing in the background.

Well I have been now going to the vet every week to get the pressure in Maddi's eye checked. last friday it was normal and then a different vet and the reading is very high. Im not happy that we are not keeping the pressure down in the only eye she has. She get 2 different drops for the pressure. One of them is given to her every 8 hrs and the 2nd one is given twice a day and has been moved to 3 times a day. So now I get to go back on Tuesday and see what the pressure is in the eye and if it is still high then they will want to remove the eye as well.

I just do not know what to think. Im upset that she has had so much problems with her eyes. I know that she is already blind in that eye but Im having sad thoughts about her getting around. If they remove the eye that means she will have the cone of shame on and she will run into more things than she is already. She is still very timid about walking around the house and she get so confused if you talk to her she will sit and be facing a different direction. She is happy when she hears you and she does not really leave my side. She uses me to help her get around. Im really having a hard time with this. I love her and of course I will have 7 more years with her since she is just now seven and middle aged for a dog. My heart breaks when she runs into the wall or into anything. Oh well I will have to find something about blind dogs and see if there is some way to teach her how to get around.

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: sad

Ok I woke up with a headache and of course I need to be out and about. Some how it got a little worse as in while in the shower the shower curtian and rod fell down and got water all over the bathroom. I then had to go and pick up some meds from the pharmacy and started feeling like I wanted to throw up. I had not eaten anything yet because I need the food with my meds. I then dropped everything out of my wallet as I was paying for the meds. Im surprised I made it home from feeling like crap. On top of that one of the side effects of one of my meds is dizziness. So Im wanting not to bend over to pick things up and hoping I do not end up on the floor in front of the new cute pharmacist. I did grab some food and came home and took the meds and ate the food.

Im hoping that I can feel better soon so I can go to fighter practice and actually get into my fencing armor and practice. Off to lay down and hope the headache does not turn into a nasty migrain like it usually does.

Current Location: Home!!!
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: The dog snoring loudly

Well Maddi woke up with her right eye all matted shut on Monday. I cleaned it out so she could see and saw that it was all red and swollen just like the left eye had been. I gave her the drops that were suppose to keep her from getting the swelling and the pressure. I let them try and work all that day. I knew she could not see and it makes me very sad that she is blind. I finally called the vet to take her in. We got there and of course her eye was not responding to light and the caterac is very visible in her eye. They do not think the lens has fallen forward,but could not tell because of the caterac. They wanted me to go to the U of I and I said I cannot pay 1000 dollars to have her seen. I want to make her comfortable and I will deal with a blind dog. So they gave me some different drops. so now I have 2 sets of drops that I have to give her to make the pressure stay below 24. It was 36-38 on Tuesday.

Im upset that such a good dog has no vision and she likes to play and run and now she is not going to be able to enjoy the puppy park and she cannot even go into the back yard with out getting lost and cannot find her way back to the back door. I know in time that she will find her way around but she get confused quickly and really is stuck to my side all day.

She tried to greet me at the door today and was looking at the book case in the foyer. She thought I was over there. :(

Tags: dog park, maddi
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: the school buses driving in the area

Hello, I must say that this cold snap that we are having is not cool. The boiler in the house cannot keep up. I went thru and of course winterized the house. It is something I do every year. We keep the sitting room and the bedroom warm with an electric heater. It is quite comfy up here. The downstairs we will bring the heater with us to warm up the kitchen and the dinning room. I even made sure if we were cooking I would turn the oven on to help warm up the Kitchen. I make sure we have throws and blankets to stay warm. I also make sure we have lots of jackets and sweaters as well.

Well Rob and I made it thru the Holidays. Of course it was a tough year for us since the dog had to go to the vet like 5-6 times just before Christmas. I know we spent the money for Christmas on Maddi. She had the lens inside her eye fall forward. The tissue deteriorated which caused the lens to fall. The vet said that usually they fall into the back of the eye and not cause problems. Well of course I have to have the dog who makes everything hard. LOL Like the time I thought she hurt her hips and I rushed her to the Vet and she was having Cramps. Well the Vet gave us a choice either spend over a thousand Dollars and take her to the U of I and that would not guarantee that they could save the eye, or have them remove the eye for a whole lot less. We chose the removal of the eye. Maddi is doing great and does not have any problems seeing or getting around. She is now on eye drops for the rest of her life to make sure she gets to keep her right one and be able to see. I had a very hard time of it at first. The silly puppy has a new nickname she is the "one eyed Maty" LOL oh well I still need to make her a patch LOL.

As most of you know that Robs dad has moved out. Thank goodness, He is doing well in his own place. He is settling in good and We go and try and see him once a week having dinner and watching silly movies. My Stress level is way down and Im glad for that.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year late. One of my goals is to post on here a lot more.

Vicki

Current Location: Home, in front of the heater
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Heater noise